i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
