I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
