Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
