if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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