He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
