is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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