When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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