If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
