I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
