I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
