just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
