I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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