I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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