Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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