Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize