Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
