You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
