If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
