you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
