Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
