i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
