I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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