Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
