This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
