Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
