just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
