no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
