I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
