Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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