Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
