You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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