It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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