haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
