Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
