Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
