you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
