I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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