nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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