You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
