I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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