He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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