I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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