in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
