I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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