dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
