Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
