Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
