Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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