end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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