I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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