peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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