Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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