We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
