I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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