Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
