what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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