whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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