Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
