she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
