Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
