WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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